Teeth Cleaning

Has anybody else ever felt that they were drowning while having a routine dental cleaning?

I almost died today. I am sure of it. In the dentists chair. The dentist was incredibly nice. She was friendly, and although her English wasn't great I think I knew what she was trying to tell me. But then she stuck this thing in my mouth that shoots water in there. I know of this thing. I have seen it before. I have also feared it. But never before as a mortal enemy. Usually, in the past, I have been instructed, every once in a while, to rinse out the large amounts of water that this thing injects into my throat - keep in mind, I am lying back in the reclining dentist's chair, in a perfectly chokeable position - so, while the water shooting thingy (which, for no other reason than because I feel like it right now, I've decided to call a spigot), so, while the spigot has been a scary thing to my past, it has never been nefarious. But today, oh today was...different. I was never told to rinse. I was never told to spit out. Instead, I just lay there, helpless in the dentist's chair, as the water spigot filled my mouth with more and more water, which mingled with the blood from my teeth and whatever gross stuff was in there and threatened to kill me.

I ended up almost choking on my own blood and the water from the evil water spigot. Instead, I swallowed, closing my mouth as I did so. "What are you doing?" The dentist said, or I think she said. I couldn't really tell, through the choking and all. And then, "are you ok?" Either she said that or she was talking about something else, but I'm pretty sure she asked me if I was ok. "Fine," I said, causing myself to gag on what water remained in my mouth.

Which brings me to my next point: Why would anyone ever want to be a dentist? Anyone, I mean, of course, except for crazy sadistic masochistic freaks. Which my dentist, of course, was not. Especially if she's reading this. If she's reading this, I loved her very much, and look forward to being strangled - er, treated - again.

And I will be. I'm going back in a couple of weeks because, due to no fault of my own (I blame the water spigot) I have somehow developed two small cavities. And so, while my "oral hygeine is good", I "clearly never floss", (those both the words of my beloved dentist)...

Which brings me back to my original - er, second - point. Or maybe third. Why would anyone ever want to be a dentist? It's bad enough to have things stuck inside my mouth. But to have to stick things into other peoples mouths? To have to look at the insides of someone's mouth all day and to play around with metal implements in there and to tolerate onion and garlic breath and to be nice about it? I don't think so.